Perfect
by TheChasm
Summary: Five times Lily Evans was perfect, and one time she wasn't.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**A/N: So this was sort of a character redemption exercise for me; I like Lily Evans generally, but every now and then, both in canon and in fanfictions, she comes across as irritatingly perfect. I wrote this mostly to try and humanise her for myself and find out some of her insecurities, and I'm happy to say that I succeeded! I hope you enjoy it.**

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**Perfect**

Tuney is shrieking. She wanted to go to town with her friends today, apparently. But it is September the first and your parents are adamant.

"Lily has been so excited," Dad reproves. "And don't you want to say goodbye?"

Tuney throws you a dirty look. She hasn't been talking to you ever since Severus made that branch fall on her. You're pretty sure that saying goodbye to you is the last thing she wants to do. She takes a breath and continues to argue.

"Honey and I have been planning this for _ages_, Mum, it's not fair that I should cancel on her just so that I can see my little sister off to boarding school! Imagine what she'll think! I bet she won't want to be friends with me anymore; she'll think I don't care about her! It's so unfair to call her at the last minute and tell her I can't go! We were going to the cinema and she's got the tickets and everything!"

Mum has lost her patience. "PETUNIA! WILL YOU STOP BEING SO SELFISH FOR ONCE? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST QUIET DOWN AND BE A BIT MORE LIKE LILY?"

You wince. That's the worst thing she could have said. Tuney is speechless for a few moments.

"Oh, of course," she says at last, voice dripping with fury. "Anything to be like _perfect_ Lily!"

She turns and flounces out of the room. You stare after her, and all you can think is that she's wrongwrongwrong. Perfect people have sisters who love them.

-LE -

Those two awful boys are sniggering in the compartment behind you as you stalk out. You toss your hair and hope and pray that you won't have to spend much time with them at school. They were so mean to Severus!

He glances sideways at you as the two of you search for a compartment to sit in. "Thanks," he says. "For defending me back there. You didn't have to."

"Of course I did," you answer. "I'm not going to let two arrogant idiots make a fool of my best friend. You don't deserve it."

He smiles, one of his real and genuine warm smiles. "Oh, Lily," he says.

You raise your eyebrows and smile, waiting for him to continue.

"You're just – _perfect_, you know that?"

The grin slips off your face. As you sit down in a compartment, all you can think is that he's wrongwrongwrong. Perfect people stand up for their friends.

-LE-

You feel sick as you walk into the common room. Avery and Mulciber are just so – evil. How can Severus enjoy their company? The humiliation in Mary's eyes makes you want to cry. She did nothing to deserve this.

You're fully intending to run up to your dorm and sob, but someone says your name. "Oi, Evans!"

You whirl round to find yourself face-to-face with James Potter, who's grinning like the idiot he is.

"What is it, Potter?" you ask as coldly as you can. He doesn't take the hint.

"There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up. Do you want to go with me?"

You don't have time for this. "No, Potter, I do not," you snap. "Leave me alone."

As you begin to mount the spiral staircase, you hear Potter return to his friends. "What'll it take?" he moans.

"Looks like you're just not good enough for her, mate," Sirius Black smirks. "Top of the class, prefect, teacher's pet… fact is, she's too _perfect_."

Your eyes sting with tears as you hurry up the stairs, and all you can think is that he's wrongwrongwrong. Perfect people can stop their friends when they're going too far.

-LE-

You're at Mary's house when your O.W.L. results arrive. Your eyes skim the list excitedly. Ten 'Outstandings'. 'Exceeds Expectations' in Divination and Care of Magical Creatures. The voice starts up in your head again. _Useless, pathetic, not good enough._

You bury your head in your arms. "Lily?" Mary says gently. She picks up your results and reads them through. "Oh, Lils, don't be upset! These are amazing." She puts her arm around your shoulders. "You're the _perfect_ student, you know."

You suck in your breath sharply, and all you can think is that she's wrongwrongwrong. Perfect people don't make mistakes.

-LE-

It's sixth year and you're sitting in the library when you tell Remus that you know his secret. He goes very still, and at last you recognise the all-too-familiar expression in his eyes for what it is. He's haunted by fear. Prey, not predator.

Hastily, you explain how this doesn't change anything, how obviously he's been a werewolf for a long time and he's not going to suddenly start killing you, is he? You're not going to tell anyone – although you're pretty sure that the other Marauders already know – and you don't hate him for it. He's still Remus.

Suddenly, he throws his arms around you. You blink, shocked – since when has sweet, shy Remus been one for hugging?

"Thank you," he whispers. "Thank you, thank you."

"For what?" you ask him.

"For being such a _perfect_ friend."

You freeze. The gratitude in those tawny eyes is all too much, because all you can think is that he's wrongwrongwrong. Perfect people help their friends, rather than ignoring them when they're in trouble – which is what you've done every full moon for two years.

-LE-

You've done it now. Emptied all your stress and frustration onto the person that least deserves it. It's not James's fault that you're worried about the Charms N.E.W.T., or that five Muggle-borns were killed yesterday or that Petunia didn't invite you to her wedding. All your misery seems to have been building up in your lungs and at last you've let it all out.

You can't look at James, see the shock in those hazel eyes, so instead you focus on his friends. Peter gapes at you, Sirius is so fascinated by the row that he doesn't notice the fact that his Exploding Snap card house has singed his robes, and Remus's eyebrows have shot up. They all know now. They can see that you're not perfect at all.

You turn and run: out of the common room, through the corridors, away. You reach the Astronomy Tower and glory in the chaos of the storm. Rain soaks your robes and turns your hair into a snakelike mess, and you don't care.

You're not sure how long you stand there for, but the next thing you know there's a warm hand in yours and your hair is being brushed away from your face. James doesn't look angry, or upset, or anything other than sympathetic as he pulls you into a hug and kisses you.

There's lightning flashing around you and you're riding on a wave of elation, because even though you cracked he doesn't hate you.

"You're not perfect," he murmurs, his eyes never leaving yours. "And I love you for it."

And all you can think is how good it is for him to be right.

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**A/N: Don't you just love James/Lily? They work so well together :)**

**Anyway, please review!**

**~Butterfly**


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